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Harleigh Maureen Cooper
FFnet-wise, I'm slacking off. It's not because of dry spells. I just lack the motivation. And creative freedom tells me that fanfiction just doesn't do it for me anymore. In a way, it has crippled me substantially. I want to be a serious writer and I want to write my own original fiction, something mainstream and inherent to my roots as a Filipino. And I'm working quite well on that. Since writing would be a career I wish to pursue in the near future, I don't want to get sidetracked and distracted. Sadly, FFNet does that. It was obvious I just drag myself to meet it halfway but if I'll be completely honest to myself, I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like an asshole because I did promise last February that I will see this through. But I just can't :c

I sure as hell will miss Death Note Fandom most of all because I have not finished any of my stories there which only goes to show that my work habits as a writer need to be trained for the better. I would probably still continue revising my smut and adding chapters for the VK smut and the LCDO smut as well; because they're much easier to write and they won't take much of my time since the plot can be kiddie pool-deep and the pyschology of the characters can be derivative. I'm not saying that my smut would appear juvenile; they're more or less catharsis during moments I don't get laid feel like entertaining myself.

I'm very sorry if this would offend any of my readers who I know look forward to my work (and probably got too bored or impatient doing so). It's not like I'm treating my craft in fanfiction as lame, disregarding it as mediocre. Not at all. Because of fanfiction and livejournal, I've met a lot of great online friends who identified with my interests and passion. But I have a life outside the web and I want to enrich my relationships and goals there. It was fun being stuck here in eljay, talking about fandoms, anime and manga and whatnot. I love it. I'm proud to be a fangirl. I like answering the memes and updating my status in FFNet, posting new chapters for my stories. But as a long-term, I don't see myself doing it for years to come. So I need to quit it while it's early.

I'll still be around in eljay though, if any of you guys still like to hear from me. You can find me in my private [info]writer_craft where I talk about real-life issues in writing, college and relationships. I also post my original fiction there some days.

I'm gonna try to finish what I can finish in FFNet but I really cannot continue the other serious ones like Her god is my enemy, Vengeance Paid, Dirt in the Snow, Ornament of no intact personality (the last two I might still have the energy to add some chapters but I don't know to what end). Thank you for understanding.
Current Mood: stressedstressed
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
11 February 2010 @ 05:46 pm
Why? Because I had so much fun just watching this motherfucking anime. I didn't even have expectations for it in the beginning. Just like when I watched Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei, I simply found it while I was rummaging through boxes filled with anime DVDs in the market. I picked it up only because black is my favorite color and the title itself was already interesting to me. While I was holding DTB, I was like, "Surprise me," and immediately bought it. It was the same reaction I had for SZS, and I guess my instincts were never wrong when it comes to anime selection for some reason (as well as with manga). I'm now aware that there's been a hype surrounding this anime, but that never influenced my penchant for it. So I'm gonna do a special review for it because I'm just dying to. I'll try to sound as objective as possible (but I might insert some fangirlism once I'm done, 'kay?).

Very comprehensive and spoiler-ish...Collapse )
Current Mood: happyhappy
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
I have re-posted A Different Kind of Sweet at last, and the goal is not really to get more reviews. The story is Rated M, after all, so it'd be hard to find when a reader browses in the DN fandom page by page unless he/she is looking for it particularly. I'm just happy that the revision was better than the original draft (I guess, you'd be the judge of that, find it HERE).

PROGRESS: I'm still revising Chapter 5 of Diff. I'm also revising A Little More would do, because I realized it was such a fun L/Matsuda story that I haven't gotten to finish. I also have tons of unfinished Death Note stories I never got the chance to get back on. Hopefully I could decrease the load along the way if I just endure and keep writing. There's also my POT fic that I'm neglecting. I'm almost finished with the following chapter, but I'll delay it for another week since I'm focusing more on the VK and LCDO chapter updates.

Also, I'm re-joining citrus_taste again, this time as harleycooper. Here is the Lime Table I'll be using in continuance to my LCDO story Sophomore.

Get that lime, baby!~Collapse )

Current Mood: thankfulthankful
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
08 February 2010 @ 09:15 pm
So OMG.  I haven't been updating this eljay in ages because I believe my membership in our school paper demands my utmost attention. Three of my original stories will be published soon in our literary digest and I just can't wait! In the meantime, I've decided to stop slacking off in my writing duties, FFNet-wise. I think I'm making progress so far. Let me do a list:

Dutiful Writer, time to set your goals and priorities!Collapse )

*I really wanna keep writing fanfiction, especially now that I've found out I could use it as a means to improve on my writing style. And I have so many stories I want to develop and finish because I think it would be unfair to the readers who are looking forward to their completion. And I also have issues with Appetite for Enigma and it's safe to say I still don't know how to go about revising it.

On a unrelated sidenote that has something to do with new fandoms, I've been finishing Darker Than Black and so far it is awesome! I enjoyed the character backstories and the over-all pacing and flow of the episodes. I'm really captivated by the storyline although I noticed some loopholes here and there but the anime itself makes up for impressive storytelling, action scenes and its enigmatic lead, Hei. I have yet to finish Loveless, Code Geass, and D-Gray Man. My DVD of Vampire Knight Guilty has failed me by the ten to thirteen episodes which sucks ass so bad. Hopefully the DVD will work on my parents' player.

And I have a question to my F-list: Is being an anime/manga/ fan ever shamed you? Did you ever find yourself thinking that loving anime/manga is something of a guilty pleasure? What do your peers say about it, if said peers are not anime/manga fans themselves?
I ask this because I just really, really wanna know. I believe being an anime/manga fan is also a form of geek, right? Not like I ever cared about the label sinceI love a variety of things. It's just that I don't really wear being a fangirl for anime as some sort of badge. I immensely like a lot of TV series and movies and so many books, as well as anime and J-pop. So another question in mind is: Have you ever identified yourself strongly by these interests and hobbies before/ or still do?
Current Mood: jubilantjubilant
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
01 January 2010 @ 10:05 pm
It's a New Year and I've neglected to update this eljay for several months because I haven't been writing fanfiction that long. I was busy with RL writing in our school paper so it takes a lot of my time. We'll be releasing our literary digest this February. I do update my private eljay writer_craft  to about my personal and social life, and needless to say I've never been happier with the way things are going for me.

So what's new with my fandoms? Well, I'm still very much addicted to my childhood favorite Yu Yu Hakusho. I haven't started watching Darker than Black but it proved to be very interesting, as well as Hunter x Hunter and I'm only seven episodes as for now. I managed to watch Boys Be continously at my aunt's place during one lazy Saturday afternoon and I found it amusing, if not dreadfully fluffy. It's one thing that I don't write fanfiction; it's another thing that I don't devote time for my fandoms. I guess college has gotten the best of my otaku days and I find it easier to watch TV series like How I met your mother and The Big Bang Theory a lot more enjoyable, given the flow of my daily activities. This Christmas break we keep having  ambush vacations with the family so yeah. Now that my fanfiction status is almost unproductive, perhaps I should spare myself an energy to update my VK smut, POT fic and YYH fic while revising the chapters for A Different Kind of Sweet. I don't know if I'll be able to completely accomplish them but...baby steps.

Fanfiction and anime fandoms used to be my life and religion. Now I guess I have different priorities, more RL than virtual.

Happy New Year, F-list! I'd still be here. Lurking and trying to write.
Current Mood: groggygroggy
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
07 September 2009 @ 05:13 pm
Since I have to at least update this eljay with something fandom-related, I decided to just fill this up with another Death Note meme. I haven't been flexing my fanfiction muscles anyway since I'm busy with RL writing for my school paper. And goddamn, the writing process is very disciplined, isn't it? The dry spells are often now with me and this makes me sad. Fortunately I know writing is my passion and it just needs commitment and time and I'm willing to give those. No fanfiction for now to focus on original writing. So yeah, I need to relax my mind a little today it's a holiday and dwell on a DN-survey.
Within the spreading darkness, we exchange vows of revolution...one day I will show you a shining world.Collapse )
Current Mood: amusedamused
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
25 August 2009 @ 09:14 pm
Title: Sophomore, Chapter Two
Author: Harley Cooper
Fandom: La Corda d' Oro
Pairing: Amou Nami/ Tsukimori Len
Rating: M
Prompt: #49 Think of all the things your hands could make
AN/Disclaimer: I decided to use the Lime Table prompts as a design for the chapters of one of my LCDO fics found in FFNet.


Tsukimori looked like he wanted to ask but was silenced when Amou slid his fingers underneath her white skirt and inside her panties. His fingers sank through the slick folds of her being. The heat between her legs was enough to make him gasp in shock and arousal when he tried to sink his fingers deeper into the moist cavern.Collapse )
Current Mood: hornyhorny
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
16 August 2009 @ 03:26 pm
I've established a compromise between me and my muse. I've been recently updating my personal RL stuff in writer_craft and one day I just said to myself, "I have got to do something about my neglected fandoms." And since I've joined citrus_taste and kind of liking the smut prompts it offers, I decided to give it a shot with my La Corda d' Oro fandom since the said fandom has many possibilities that could stretch and bend and even do freaking gymnastic moves (smut-speaking, of course). You can't go wrong with a shoujo harem manga like this fandom. So yeah. I'm now working on the fiction Sophomore which is an Amou Nami/ Tsukimori Len/ Hino Kahoko/ Tsuchiura Ryoutaru orgy thing, I dunno. It hasn't been updated for ages but right now, as the god of fanfiction is my witness, I promise to commit myself in writing the chapters designed from the smut prompts. And update this eljay frequently from now on. It's going to be my year. I can feel it. 

And with regards to aterraincognita,  I also have to find time to pursue that project. Which is a darn shame right now since I'm still adjusting, being a fanfiction writer while at the same time, being a literary writer for my university's offical student publication paper, Heraldo Filipino. But baby steps, for every season there is a time, right? So gambatte-yo, Harley!
Current Mood: contentcontent
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
25 June 2009 @ 08:16 pm
Wow, goddamn, it's been a trying year. I'm back in college, making sure that this time I could do better for myself. And still have fun while doing it. I figured it's not so bad; you can make progress while enjoying the process. So right now, I'm taking things slow but efficient, and still catch up with my otaku duties. I've just finished The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya which is quite spectacular. I should have watched the series earlier. Suffice to say, my writing prowess is lurking contentedly, willing to sit through a break to give way to my college obligations. And that's cool. I quite enjoy writing without the head-crushing pressure of publication. I mean, I can proudly say I have been a better, more mature writer than I was two years ago when I first joined FFnet and LJ. I used to think writing is about how fast you can write a chapter and update the story. I used to beat myself up when I can't come up with something to please the majority of readers. I used to be such a snob when my flaws are pointed out to me by complete strangers. But now, I guess I'm fairly happy to be writing not only for my whims alone but also to improve. I guess revising/proofreading my stories taught me that the mere desire to be a writer is not enough. I need to train myself in certain habits and hard work. This year I am learning to take a professional stance toward my work, original or fanfiction. I am willing to make the compromises and commitment. So that's why I intend to update my public eljay since this is my online working journal. I should monitor my progress just to cheer myself up everytime I feel like I'm such a loser with my craft. Self-affirmation can take a while but the rewards of granting myself that are worth the trouble.

I wanna know how my other fellow writers are up to. I really wanna know how everyone's work is paying off.

How do you approach writing? How much time do you dedicate yourself to work on it? Do you ever look at a previous fanfic you have published and figured that you can do better? What sort of sacrfices are you willing to give up in order to write more progressively?

And of course, the up sides: What makes you happy as a writer by the end of the day? What is your greatest accomplishment all throughout your writing experiences? How do you reward yourself?
Current Mood: optimisticoptimistic
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
10 June 2009 @ 10:28 pm
I've posted Chapter 7 for Ornament of no intact personality on 04-25-09 and forgot to mention it somehow. I've been losing flame for most of my stories but hopefully I could start writing something new while revising/proofreading the published ones. Baby steps, Harley, baby steps. I'm not so scared of writer's block anymore. Is this what you call maturity as a writer? Have I finally stopped whacking myself with a shoe when I cannot find the energy or inspiration to write? By god! I get shitty whenever I patronize myself. Anyway, I know Viola-chan is looking forward for this story so I decided to post it here in eljay out of respect to her wishes.

[Less space for consequences] Collapse )

Current Mood: awakeawake
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
09 June 2009 @ 10:47 am

Nothing special. I've been revising my Death Note smut stories A Different Kind of Sweet and Dirty Little Whore. These stories are considered my very first so there are lots of loose ends and proofreading to be done. They have seven chapters each and the horror of looking back at your past works of fiction is a feeling like no other. Regardless of the realization that I used to suck back then, the realization that my writing style has evolved is also very delightful. So I've rewritten three chapters for A Different and I hope to accomplish on finishing the revisions by the end of July. I'm also writing on Yu Yu Hakusho fandom, since it was my earliest favorite when I was nine years old. It is a piece entitled Dirt in the Snow about the twins Hiei and Yukina and the gradual sibling relationship they develop (as well as a one-sided incestuous, pseudo-sexual feelings that will happen as the story pushes forward). It has two chapters posted and I'm still thinking about adding something on the third chapter before posting it as well.

I'm in no mood or rush to update in DN fandom as well as the others. I dunno. Perhaps I will start writing progressively in August because I have my college duties to pay attention to this year. The world is my oyster, shit like that, so I ought to enjoy how far I've gotten in fanfiction. And I'm truly grateful for it. I have 19 stories published in my FFNet account. These accomplishments are something to celebrate about. I could look back and regret nothing.

WRITING STATUS: Revised and published three chapters of A Different Kind of Sweet (05-29-09). Published Misa on stilettos (05-31-09). Uploaded Chapter 2 for Dirt in the Snow (06-04-09)


Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
Me in a nutshell according to this: introverted, irritable, feels invisible, observer, depressed, does not enjoy leadership, reveals little about self, dislikes large parties, feels undesirable, does not like to stand out, submissive, suspicious, emotionally sensitive, not a thrill seeker, solitude loving, likes silence, fragile, second guesses self, negative, unadventurous, fearful, weird, focuses on people's hidden motives, paranoid, phobic, dependent, cautious, avoidant, semi intellectual.

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Work ethic||||||||||36%
Conflict seeking||||||||||||||56%
Need to dominate||||||||||||50%
Change averse||||||||||||||56%
Peter pan complex||||||||||||50%
Family drive||||||30%
Physical Fitness||||||||||%

Thank fuck Hedonism is a low potential for me didn't mean to disappoint you there, SadeReligious is acceptable, save the ocassional  Anti-Eucharist Sundays I have. But it ranks with my MaterialismAnti-Authority and Change Averse...Conflict-seeking? Well, I expect Narcissism to be higher. At least I like the results for  Artistic, Sexuality, Intellectual and Individuality. And don't we all have a Peter Pan complex? Honor as oppose to Vanity looks good but I'm not sure I'm confident about that. Nor am I fucking thrifty...and have a high need to dominate, generally-speaking. Romantic and Avoidant, that's very promising indeed. Wealth is depressing. But why don't I have a number for Physical Fitness...I see the bars...hold on, is there an error or what?
Current Mood: tiredtired
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
Aw fuck. This is what happens when I turn on the television and actually inform myself about what is going on with the world. This piece of shit is all over the Local News and why wouldn't it be? It was terrible. This Filipina accused two US military soldiers that they raped her...but it was all circumstancial evidence that even I don't know what to believe. The two dudes argued it was consensual. They even appeared in Local TV broadcast while I was enjoying my cereal for sympathy effect of some sort. And I was half-convinced that one of them didn't do it. For a while the Filipina, they call her 'Nicole', pressed on with her case and even had our Feminist Movement GABRIELA fighting for her and then all of a sudden she drops the charges because she was granted a US Green Card? I was actually upset, considering I'm perfectly happy being an anti-social and do not find a need to care about anything outside that comfort zone. I was very upset somehow  but not as upset as Light was with his cheeful 'the world is rotten' view

I'm babbling and whining because I don't really know what to make of this. I'm mad that she just gave up because she was bought off or something. I don't know if Smith is guilty but it seems to me that somebody has to pay for all the damage caused on both sides, I guess. I think I'm more pissed off with the fact that Nicole must be another one those Filipinos who can't wait to be an American citizen and would do anything to see it fulfilled. I have no problem with some of my fellowmen who want to go to US for their American dreams but I just hate how desperate some of these people have to become. I hate to think Nicole is an example of this repulsive conformity to the White Man's BS. The Philippine Economy is burying us with all that debt and corruption, and I know moving to another country to find some means of livelihood is a solution, but not the only solution. And GABRIELA really supported her and she just waited their time and effort for a lousy green card.

But what the fuck do I know? See for yourselves about NICOLE'S RAPE. It's seriously whacked. Smith got what he deserved (I guess some justice must have been served.) Still I feel uncomfortable...was she really raped? What the fuck really happened? Are the media hounds of the Locas News being cannibals again? Some sort of political agenda between The Philippines and the US government? What?! I shouldn't even be talking about this in here but I just have to vent out. This affects me as a Filipino citizen and a woman...or whatever the fuck I am being empathetic about.

Nicole’s case might have been like hundreds, if not thousands, of other cases of rape that had been reported in or around US military bases in the Philippines since 1946. But no American soldier had ever been convicted of raping a Filipino woman until December of 2006 when Makati Trial Judge Benjamin Pozon pronounced Smith guilty of raping Nicole. Instead of being remanded into custody in a Philippine jail, however, Smith instead was transferred to the US embassy, where he awaited the eventual reversal of his conviction which occurred last week.

The whole thing is crap but I worried about it for two days and the anxiety lurked in my stomach even when I don't want it to anymoreCollapse )
Current Mood: crappycrappy
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
14 April 2009 @ 12:47 pm
...because it's just too fucking edible not to digest! It's weird, actually; I have no idea how to feel about the characters just yet and I'll probably won't figure it out soon. My ability to worship another fandom is barren as for the moment and I can't believe this day of reckoning will come. But anway, the anime is hatefully marvelous. I just want to stab myself whenever I hear that goddamn ending song because I can't stop marching to it. I shouldn't even be writing about it now; it's too painful for me. I wanted so much to get addicted to this but...I feel prudish lately when it comes to answering to my fangirl desires and that's a stupid tragedy, I guess. In the meantime I'll keep watching the episodes and even though the anime pretty much skews my view on world history, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's hatefully entertaining I tried to hang myself crazy when I encountered the dick joke on Japan. And Germany and Italy together--gods, I don't want to say it. But I should. Yet I fail. I'm sorry, I'm sorry sapphire_pyro and fishlegs !!

Someone please push the button that says "Fangirl Rebirth! Stop slacking the fuck off!" Thanks.

To those who might misunderstand this entry because of my fucking title (I have myself to blame), make no mistake. I'm falling in love with Hetalia for real but I have fangirl 'sterility' issues I'm dealing with right now. I'll accept any redemption offered or else I'll die of incapacitation to whore this fandom. A cruel result of being an irresponsible, shitty asshole as I'm slowly becomming.
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
01 April 2009 @ 08:16 pm
I'm Harley. I'm one self-indulgent habit away from social demise.

And you are?

[I'm sort of out of coverage. Internet access is lacking. My resolve may not be strong enough to take it. In which case, I won't be posting new entries. So I leave y'all with this one. You can talk to me about anything, bullshit and otherwise. I could use the company. However, I have no idea how long this hiatus is gonna last but it'll probably be a long time before my cyber status would be permanent again. Which sucks ass. But Christ have mercy on me. Because of all your tireless recommendations, I'm currently watching Code Geass and Hetalia. I would be back to fangirl on these. I cry a river, hope y'all won't drown.]
Current Mood: refreshedrefreshed
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
I came up with names for my children because I do that with my stuffed toys. The difference is I can buy stuffed toys. I would have bought babies but there's not much money in my saving account (not to mention I would totally be an irresponsible parent). I want to have children so I could name them (one shallow reason that's also amoral)...that is, if I decided one day that matrimony isn't such a fuckery and I would still be together in the future with my boyfriend or we haven't killed each other yet. This is actually entertaining, like a creative, mental execise.

Sebastian Kirshner
Sakura Keresna

It's pretty self-explanatory but I find it necessary to explain the fact that Sebastian from Kuroshitsuji makes me lose the fine grip on my senses. As for the second name, it's from this actress Mia Kirshner from The L Word who plays an egocentic, 'tortured' lesbian-writer Jenny Schecter. Mia's a very hawt chick with the most perfect shade of raven black hair and the bluest eyes. And she fucks really good in her rated movies even though she's far from whorish in real-life (she's quite timid and reclusive as a person, as far as I can judge from her video interviews. She's uncomfortable talking about her views on sex but she has no problem fornicating on screen as long as her character fascinates her.)  My boyfriend is an otaku for Sakura the cardcaptor. And Keresna means "love and glory." I forgot in which language. I have a penchant for this name since I was nine.

Sherlock Azriel
Nisa Celeste

Again, self-explanatory with the Sherlock. He's my most beloved fictional character. As for Azriel, it was my guy best friend's name. Nisa is one of my boyfriend's created female personas when he's online. Celeste is like celestine which means 'heavenly' and I've always fancied it to be my real name as God's daughterI'm a fucking Catholic freak.

Oscar Alexandre
Viola Nicoline

Oscar Wilde. Alexandre Dumas. Big fan of both. Viola because of [info]viola_canina whom I find so endearing. And Nicoline because of my grasshopper apprentice[info]3pleconfusion (she loves that name).

Windsor Isaac
Nana Irene

Harlan Coben, one of my favorite mystery-thriller writers, has this book series about this sports agent Myron Bolitar who has a WASPy, pretty boy philander of a best friend named Windsor Horne Lockwood III. It's a kind of name that says "flaming asshole." And Isaac is a biblical name, Abraham's son who was offered to God in the altar of sacrifice, you know the storyGod was just fucking around with old Bram, of course, tricky ominiscient bastard! <3 And then we have Nana because of speaky_bean whom I respect greatly for her writing talents. And Irene is from the Sherlock Holmes story A Scandal in Bohemia. She was the first woman to dupe Holmes (and rumored love interest of said sleuth around fanfiction circles).
Current Mood: sillysilly
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
17 February 2009 @ 12:24 pm
~Happy birthday Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day~!

I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it! Sometimes I give myself the creeps. Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It all keeps adding up. I think I'm cracking up!Collapse )

I'm reading one of the Oscar Wilde murder mysteries by Gyles Brandreth, The Ring of Death and it was just brilliant. I've been reading for four hours and I'm in chapter 16. I don't intend to finish soon because I want to savor the sensuality and thrill of the novel. It was just immensely enjoyable! Wilde was portrayed exactly as how I felt he should be in real life; I was hypnotized. I love the fact that Arthur Conan Doyle and Bram Stoker are there. And that Doyle really wants to kill off his Sherlock Holmes (which is common knowledge.) He was like, "In my mind and in my heart he is already dead. But in my bank account he still quivers and twiches." HILARITY! XD There are many interesting characters there as well and mentions of Henry Irving which was cool in itself. The Socrates Club (with Wilde as chairman) was a treat especially their game of "Murder" where the fourteen guests will write down names of people they wish to murder and then the papers will be drawn from a hat and will be read aloud and they will guess who wants to murder the name mentioned. Oscar Wilde's name was drawn, as well as his wife, Constance. Sherlock Holmes too (let's leave the murdering to Doyle) and even 'Old Father Time' and 'Eros' were plotted against (really cute). Anyway, one chapter I loved there that sent my fangirl radar berserk was when Wilde mentioned that 'Sebastian' is his alter-ego (because it was a Shakespearean character and a saint's name). I went totally giddy over it. It was an erotic information, really. I felt all the nerve endings in my body getting titilated that I was tempted to roll around the floor, kicking my legs up in the air but I was in no condition to indulge myself so because I was in the office with my students around. I couldn't possibly explain the puzzling sight to them, if it ever occurred. So I contained it and now I got home and I started rejoicing like a the literature slut I was born to be. Fantastic, I tell you!

But I wasn't feeling good earlier that day. I went to the bookstore, saw girls fucking their brains over Twilight books and then they saw the Oscar Wilde book displayed beside it and one girl was like, "Oh I know about him in Lit. class. He's nothing but a FAT FAG." It took years of self-restraint with Palahniuk's Snuff and Murakami's The Wind-up Bird Chronicle clutched tightly on my hands at that time not to strike her in the face. Bitch. I want to stab her in the eyes and laugh maniacally while doing so. Bitch. What the hell does she know about Wilde-sensei? Her fuck choice of reading Twilight certainly doesn't earn her a shit-load of respect! I still look back at this and I'm very full-pledged on killing her. The hatred is intense. I can honestly swear I have never hated a stranger like this before.
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Harleigh Maureen Cooper
I'm still on HIATUS, don't be deceived. However, I just wanted to discuss something with anybody that concerns this issue. I tried to ignore this nagging, self-loathesome feeling for months now. I just have to let it out because it seems like I need to hear other people's thoughts.

Some of you know that I write in Death Note fanfiction back in the old days and my most read and affirmed novel is "Appetite for Enigma" [L x OC]. Admittedly, it has been many months since my last update. I don't get that much inspiration pursuing this fic. I don't know how to say this but...I feel like I'm doing something wrong. True that I was very stubborn before when someone rudely criticizes my work. But I've been writing fanfiction for two years now and I've learned so much from many fellow writers here in LJ. I became more adaptable and open-minded. And now I give myself some self-doubt when it comes to this work of fiction. I do love the story because the readers who love it are very grateful that I wrote it. Unfortunately, I'm starting to see the plot-holes and Sueness of my characters that it's so worrisome for me. I call this the Twilight effect. When Stephenie Meyer published her series, it ensued lulz in literature because it was bad writing. It was just mediocre. And now as I look at AFE, I'm sort of having second thoughts. I started reading it again and it just hit me. The main character Francesca is a self-insertion like Bella Swan. And my characterization of L is a wish-fulfillment as well that I feel guilty for bastardizing him. I know there is truth in this fear but I want to know if I'm being too bitchy about this. I know writing is a craft that needs to be constantly challenged and now that is what I'm doing.

If you're curious to see the story, click this. So, F-list, do you think I should re-write the story? There is potential in my plot and characters and maybe I should just revise some chapters and small details. This is my most popular fic and I hate to see it suffer because I lack the motivation to polish it. Perhaps I should be a decent writer and just kill my darlings?

Here is a memorable critic from almost two years ago from the writer Kat-chan from FFNetCollapse )

The critic haunted me up to this day. I cared about what she said because this Kat-chan is the writer of the popular L/Misa story "Rewrite," if anyone is familiar. At first I didn't agree but I've done some self-reflection about this story and I would like to think that I've evolved as a writer after two years. I really would like to think so. I need an advice from friends and fellow writers. Anybody out there?
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed