mello scar tissue

A serious case: No more FFnet. Fandoms must be put aside

FFnet-wise, I'm slacking off. It's not because of dry spells. I just lack the motivation. And creative freedom tells me that fanfiction just doesn't do it for me anymore. In a way, it has crippled me substantially. I want to be a serious writer and I want to write my own original fiction, something mainstream and inherent to my roots as a Filipino. And I'm working quite well on that. Since writing would be a career I wish to pursue in the near future, I don't want to get sidetracked and distracted. Sadly, FFNet does that. It was obvious I just drag myself to meet it halfway but if I'll be completely honest to myself, I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like an asshole because I did promise last February that I will see this through. But I just can't :c

I sure as hell will miss Death Note Fandom most of all because I have not finished any of my stories there which only goes to show that my work habits as a writer need to be trained for the better. I would probably still continue revising my smut and adding chapters for the VK smut and the LCDO smut as well; because they're much easier to write and they won't take much of my time since the plot can be kiddie pool-deep and the pyschology of the characters can be derivative. I'm not saying that my smut would appear juvenile; they're more or less catharsis during moments I don't get laid feel like entertaining myself.

I'm very sorry if this would offend any of my readers who I know look forward to my work (and probably got too bored or impatient doing so). It's not like I'm treating my craft in fanfiction as lame, disregarding it as mediocre. Not at all. Because of fanfiction and livejournal, I've met a lot of great online friends who identified with my interests and passion. But I have a life outside the web and I want to enrich my relationships and goals there. It was fun being stuck here in eljay, talking about fandoms, anime and manga and whatnot. I love it. I'm proud to be a fangirl. I like answering the memes and updating my status in FFNet, posting new chapters for my stories. But as a long-term, I don't see myself doing it for years to come. So I need to quit it while it's early.

I'll still be around in eljay though, if any of you guys still like to hear from me. You can find me in my private [info]writer_craft where I talk about real-life issues in writing, college and relationships. I also post my original fiction there some days.

I'm gonna try to finish what I can finish in FFNet but I really cannot continue the other serious ones like Her god is my enemy, Vengeance Paid, Dirt in the Snow, Ornament of no intact personality (the last two I might still have the energy to add some chapters but I don't know to what end). Thank you for understanding.
matt is a cool bastard

"Darker Than Black" Review

Why? Because I had so much fun just watching this motherfucking anime. I didn't even have expectations for it in the beginning. Just like when I watched Sayonara Zetsubou-sensei, I simply found it while I was rummaging through boxes filled with anime DVDs in the market. I picked it up only because black is my favorite color and the title itself was already interesting to me. While I was holding DTB, I was like, "Surprise me," and immediately bought it. It was the same reaction I had for SZS, and I guess my instincts were never wrong when it comes to anime selection for some reason (as well as with manga). I'm now aware that there's been a hype surrounding this anime, but that never influenced my penchant for it. So I'm gonna do a special review for it because I'm just dying to. I'll try to sound as objective as possible (but I might insert some fangirlism once I'm done, 'kay?).

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what if i had died?

Day One of Fanfiction Writing: Picking up where I left off

I have re-posted A Different Kind of Sweet at last, and the goal is not really to get more reviews. The story is Rated M, after all, so it'd be hard to find when a reader browses in the DN fandom page by page unless he/she is looking for it particularly. I'm just happy that the revision was better than the original draft (I guess, you'd be the judge of that, find it HERE).

PROGRESS: I'm still revising Chapter 5 of Diff. I'm also revising A Little More would do, because I realized it was such a fun L/Matsuda story that I haven't gotten to finish. I also have tons of unfinished Death Note stories I never got the chance to get back on. Hopefully I could decrease the load along the way if I just endure and keep writing. There's also my POT fic that I'm neglecting. I'm almost finished with the following chapter, but I'll delay it for another week since I'm focusing more on the VK and LCDO chapter updates.

Also, I'm re-joining citrus_taste again, this time as harleycooper. Here is the Lime Table I'll be using in continuance to my LCDO story Sophomore.

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evil gets a better face

Gotta get back on the game!

So OMG.  I haven't been updating this eljay in ages because I believe my membership in our school paper demands my utmost attention. Three of my original stories will be published soon in our literary digest and I just can't wait! In the meantime, I've decided to stop slacking off in my writing duties, FFNet-wise. I think I'm making progress so far. Let me do a list:

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*I really wanna keep writing fanfiction, especially now that I've found out I could use it as a means to improve on my writing style. And I have so many stories I want to develop and finish because I think it would be unfair to the readers who are looking forward to their completion. And I also have issues with Appetite for Enigma and it's safe to say I still don't know how to go about revising it.

On a unrelated sidenote that has something to do with new fandoms, I've been finishing Darker Than Black and so far it is awesome! I enjoyed the character backstories and the over-all pacing and flow of the episodes. I'm really captivated by the storyline although I noticed some loopholes here and there but the anime itself makes up for impressive storytelling, action scenes and its enigmatic lead, Hei. I have yet to finish Loveless, Code Geass, and D-Gray Man. My DVD of Vampire Knight Guilty has failed me by the ten to thirteen episodes which sucks ass so bad. Hopefully the DVD will work on my parents' player.

And I have a question to my F-list: Is being an anime/manga/ fan ever shamed you? Did you ever find yourself thinking that loving anime/manga is something of a guilty pleasure? What do your peers say about it, if said peers are not anime/manga fans themselves?
I ask this because I just really, really wanna know. I believe being an anime/manga fan is also a form of geek, right? Not like I ever cared about the label sinceI love a variety of things. It's just that I don't really wear being a fangirl for anime as some sort of badge. I immensely like a lot of TV series and movies and so many books, as well as anime and J-pop. So another question in mind is: Have you ever identified yourself strongly by these interests and hobbies before/ or still do?
the world is death note bitches

Harley's hanging, not spread so thin

It's a New Year and I've neglected to update this eljay for several months because I haven't been writing fanfiction that long. I was busy with RL writing in our school paper so it takes a lot of my time. We'll be releasing our literary digest this February. I do update my private eljay writer_craft  to about my personal and social life, and needless to say I've never been happier with the way things are going for me.

So what's new with my fandoms? Well, I'm still very much addicted to my childhood favorite Yu Yu Hakusho. I haven't started watching Darker than Black but it proved to be very interesting, as well as Hunter x Hunter and I'm only seven episodes as for now. I managed to watch Boys Be continously at my aunt's place during one lazy Saturday afternoon and I found it amusing, if not dreadfully fluffy. It's one thing that I don't write fanfiction; it's another thing that I don't devote time for my fandoms. I guess college has gotten the best of my otaku days and I find it easier to watch TV series like How I met your mother and The Big Bang Theory a lot more enjoyable, given the flow of my daily activities. This Christmas break we keep having  ambush vacations with the family so yeah. Now that my fanfiction status is almost unproductive, perhaps I should spare myself an energy to update my VK smut, POT fic and YYH fic while revising the chapters for A Different Kind of Sweet. I don't know if I'll be able to completely accomplish them steps.

Fanfiction and anime fandoms used to be my life and religion. Now I guess I have different priorities, more RL than virtual.

Happy New Year, F-list! I'd still be here. Lurking and trying to write.
Can you hear the bells?

Death Note meme

Since I have to at least update this eljay with something fandom-related, I decided to just fill this up with another Death Note meme. I haven't been flexing my fanfiction muscles anyway since I'm busy with RL writing for my school paper. And goddamn, the writing process is very disciplined, isn't it? The dry spells are often now with me and this makes me sad. Fortunately I know writing is my passion and it just needs commitment and time and I'm willing to give those. No fanfiction for now to focus on original writing. So yeah, I need to relax my mind a little today it's a holiday and dwell on a DN-survey.
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sanzo profanity

On La Corda d' Oro fandom

I've established a compromise between me and my muse. I've been recently updating my personal RL stuff in writer_craft and one day I just said to myself, "I have got to do something about my neglected fandoms." And since I've joined citrus_taste and kind of liking the smut prompts it offers, I decided to give it a shot with my La Corda d' Oro fandom since the said fandom has many possibilities that could stretch and bend and even do freaking gymnastic moves (smut-speaking, of course). You can't go wrong with a shoujo harem manga like this fandom. So yeah. I'm now working on the fiction Sophomore which is an Amou Nami/ Tsukimori Len/ Hino Kahoko/ Tsuchiura Ryoutaru orgy thing, I dunno. It hasn't been updated for ages but right now, as the god of fanfiction is my witness, I promise to commit myself in writing the chapters designed from the smut prompts. And update this eljay frequently from now on. It's going to be my year. I can feel it. 

And with regards to aterraincognita,  I also have to find time to pursue that project. Which is a darn shame right now since I'm still adjusting, being a fanfiction writer while at the same time, being a literary writer for my university's offical student publication paper, Heraldo Filipino. But baby steps, for every season there is a time, right? So gambatte-yo, Harley!
misa playtime

To all writers, how is the craft going?

Wow, goddamn, it's been a trying year. I'm back in college, making sure that this time I could do better for myself. And still have fun while doing it. I figured it's not so bad; you can make progress while enjoying the process. So right now, I'm taking things slow but efficient, and still catch up with my otaku duties. I've just finished The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya which is quite spectacular. I should have watched the series earlier. Suffice to say, my writing prowess is lurking contentedly, willing to sit through a break to give way to my college obligations. And that's cool. I quite enjoy writing without the head-crushing pressure of publication. I mean, I can proudly say I have been a better, more mature writer than I was two years ago when I first joined FFnet and LJ. I used to think writing is about how fast you can write a chapter and update the story. I used to beat myself up when I can't come up with something to please the majority of readers. I used to be such a snob when my flaws are pointed out to me by complete strangers. But now, I guess I'm fairly happy to be writing not only for my whims alone but also to improve. I guess revising/proofreading my stories taught me that the mere desire to be a writer is not enough. I need to train myself in certain habits and hard work. This year I am learning to take a professional stance toward my work, original or fanfiction. I am willing to make the compromises and commitment. So that's why I intend to update my public eljay since this is my online working journal. I should monitor my progress just to cheer myself up everytime I feel like I'm such a loser with my craft. Self-affirmation can take a while but the rewards of granting myself that are worth the trouble.

I wanna know how my other fellow writers are up to. I really wanna know how everyone's work is paying off.

How do you approach writing? How much time do you dedicate yourself to work on it? Do you ever look at a previous fanfic you have published and figured that you can do better? What sort of sacrfices are you willing to give up in order to write more progressively?

And of course, the up sides: What makes you happy as a writer by the end of the day? What is your greatest accomplishment all throughout your writing experiences? How do you reward yourself?
frail tezuka

Prince of Tennis Fandom Update

I've posted Chapter 7 for Ornament of no intact personality on 04-25-09 and forgot to mention it somehow. I've been losing flame for most of my stories but hopefully I could start writing something new while revising/proofreading the published ones. Baby steps, Harley, baby steps. I'm not so scared of writer's block anymore. Is this what you call maturity as a writer? Have I finally stopped whacking myself with a shoe when I cannot find the energy or inspiration to write? By god! I get shitty whenever I patronize myself. Anyway, I know Viola-chan is looking forward for this story so I decided to post it here in eljay out of respect to her wishes.

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