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Harleigh Maureen Cooper
I'm still on HIATUS, don't be deceived. However, I just wanted to discuss something with anybody that concerns this issue. I tried to ignore this nagging, self-loathesome feeling for months now. I just have to let it out because it seems like I need to hear other people's thoughts.

Some of you know that I write in Death Note fanfiction back in the old days and my most read and affirmed novel is "Appetite for Enigma" [L x OC]. Admittedly, it has been many months since my last update. I don't get that much inspiration pursuing this fic. I don't know how to say this but...I feel like I'm doing something wrong. True that I was very stubborn before when someone rudely criticizes my work. But I've been writing fanfiction for two years now and I've learned so much from many fellow writers here in LJ. I became more adaptable and open-minded. And now I give myself some self-doubt when it comes to this work of fiction. I do love the story because the readers who love it are very grateful that I wrote it. Unfortunately, I'm starting to see the plot-holes and Sueness of my characters that it's so worrisome for me. I call this the Twilight effect. When Stephenie Meyer published her series, it ensued lulz in literature because it was bad writing. It was just mediocre. And now as I look at AFE, I'm sort of having second thoughts. I started reading it again and it just hit me. The main character Francesca is a self-insertion like Bella Swan. And my characterization of L is a wish-fulfillment as well that I feel guilty for bastardizing him. I know there is truth in this fear but I want to know if I'm being too bitchy about this. I know writing is a craft that needs to be constantly challenged and now that is what I'm doing.

If you're curious to see the story, click this. So, F-list, do you think I should re-write the story? There is potential in my plot and characters and maybe I should just revise some chapters and small details. This is my most popular fic and I hate to see it suffer because I lack the motivation to polish it. Perhaps I should be a decent writer and just kill my darlings?

Here is a memorable critic from almost two years ago from the writer Kat-chan from FFNetCollapse )

The critic haunted me up to this day. I cared about what she said because this Kat-chan is the writer of the popular L/Misa story "Rewrite," if anyone is familiar. At first I didn't agree but I've done some self-reflection about this story and I would like to think that I've evolved as a writer after two years. I really would like to think so. I need an advice from friends and fellow writers. Anybody out there?
 
 
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed