March 27th, 2010

mello scar tissue

A serious case: No more FFnet. Fandoms must be put aside

FFnet-wise, I'm slacking off. It's not because of dry spells. I just lack the motivation. And creative freedom tells me that fanfiction just doesn't do it for me anymore. In a way, it has crippled me substantially. I want to be a serious writer and I want to write my own original fiction, something mainstream and inherent to my roots as a Filipino. And I'm working quite well on that. Since writing would be a career I wish to pursue in the near future, I don't want to get sidetracked and distracted. Sadly, FFNet does that. It was obvious I just drag myself to meet it halfway but if I'll be completely honest to myself, I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like an asshole because I did promise last February that I will see this through. But I just can't :c

I sure as hell will miss Death Note Fandom most of all because I have not finished any of my stories there which only goes to show that my work habits as a writer need to be trained for the better. I would probably still continue revising my smut and adding chapters for the VK smut and the LCDO smut as well; because they're much easier to write and they won't take much of my time since the plot can be kiddie pool-deep and the pyschology of the characters can be derivative. I'm not saying that my smut would appear juvenile; they're more or less catharsis during moments I don't get laid feel like entertaining myself.

I'm very sorry if this would offend any of my readers who I know look forward to my work (and probably got too bored or impatient doing so). It's not like I'm treating my craft in fanfiction as lame, disregarding it as mediocre. Not at all. Because of fanfiction and livejournal, I've met a lot of great online friends who identified with my interests and passion. But I have a life outside the web and I want to enrich my relationships and goals there. It was fun being stuck here in eljay, talking about fandoms, anime and manga and whatnot. I love it. I'm proud to be a fangirl. I like answering the memes and updating my status in FFNet, posting new chapters for my stories. But as a long-term, I don't see myself doing it for years to come. So I need to quit it while it's early.

I'll still be around in eljay though, if any of you guys still like to hear from me. You can find me in my private [info]writer_craft where I talk about real-life issues in writing, college and relationships. I also post my original fiction there some days.

I'm gonna try to finish what I can finish in FFNet but I really cannot continue the other serious ones like Her god is my enemy, Vengeance Paid, Dirt in the Snow, Ornament of no intact personality (the last two I might still have the energy to add some chapters but I don't know to what end). Thank you for understanding.